BFN! BFN! BIG FAT NEGATIVE! | My Baba

Welcome to day 31.

Yeeeah, so another month bites the dust. It’s Thursday. My period should have arrived on Monday. My hopes were so high yesterday, I really thought I’d identified the implantation pain on day 22 too. I really hate testing, seeing that horrible lonely line sat in the window of the test stick always makes my heart plummet, but I had an appointment at the Dr last night, expecting to be prescribed antibiotics for a throat infection, so I thought before I started those I should be sure one way or another.

I nipped out on my lunch break and bought one of those First Response tests from Boots. The one that says it can tell you 6 DAYS before your period is even due. Being three days late yesterday, that’s 9 days of hormone that coulda shoulda woulda detected equating to two victorious lines, but nope. Just the one, so I think it’s safe to say this month, a negative means a negative. Balls BALLS BALLS!

I went along to my doc’s appointment a couple of hours after, wandering sorrowfully down the road to the surgery in tears on the phone to my mum, lamenting the fact that yet another month has gone by with no luck, and that every time I scroll through my Facebook feed I feel like screaming as yet another baby has been born out of nowhere, or a 3 month scan has been shared, or that someone has given birth to their sixth child, ‘popped out no problem’ – don’t get me started, it is every frickin’ day!

I think it hit harder this month as having googled and seen the good news stories following an HSG test I really thought our luck had to be in. I broke down in the GP surgery and felt like such a twat. She was lovely though, but pretty clueless about fertility, and just told me to ‘keep the faith’. Jon Bon Jovi sprang to mind, and that song got stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

So back to now. I’m wondering where my period’s gone. I’m usually very regular, give or take a day or perhaps two some month, and even then if I’m a day early or late I know it’s coming as my boobs will be sore, and the PMT will kick in… We all know the big P likes to announce when its coming ahead of time. But this month? Nothing.

My guess is that perhaps I didn’t ovulate, and now my period has hadn’t the prompt to arrive… Sort of in limbo now until it does…

Baby dust to all who are trying.

By Wannabeamum

About The Author

Ellie Thompson
Editor & Blogger

Editor of My Baba and blogger. Currently on the IVF journey, documenting the process step-by step in addition to exploring how to prepare your body for pregnancy, what foods we should be eating, and any technique going that will lead to that positive pregnancy result!

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