As much as I hate to drive traffic to this website, anyone else seen today’s Daily Mail story on fertility? The trashy inflammatory headline has got my back up. Don’t ask me how I even knew about its existence, as personally, I steer very clear of any content associated with that particular newspaper… Although, I’ll quantify that with the fact that I suppose I would agree to it being used to put out the flames if I happened to be on fire, but only because I’m too young to die, and hopefully it (and not me) would burn beyond recognition in the process. The ‘meet the women destroying their men’s libido with their hunger for a baby’ article has just been sent to me, and it’s fair to say, I’m pretty livid with the woman that slung this together.
The charming Samantha Brick is not totally bonkers I suppose, most of the article makes sense: ‘from ovulation kits, Stork conception kits, to strict diets and a total ban of alcohol, they have tried it all. And the result? No baby as yet…’ Well, let’s have a show of hands from those of us in our thirties and forties struggling to conceive – who’s been here, and how many of the above have you tried? The answer? Probably a large percentage of us have tried and tested every kit and caboodle going. And why wouldn’t we? Why shouldn’t we?
She then goes on to explain how case study information from research of real life couples shows that it’s us women that are destroying the libidos of our partners. It’s specifically this point I take umbrage with. Since when did a choice BOTH consenting adults make, i.e. wanting a child (keep up Samantha, if you’re reading) suddenly become the fault of the woman alone? According to Samantha, we have our partners metaphorically handcuffed to the bed posts – and not in a good way.
Not to mention the fact that she has not ONCE mentioned the effect on the libido of a woman. Perhaps she’s never enjoyed her own sex life, and doesn’t think her own libido is important. Who knows? But again, these are issues that affect BOTH adults, and are a result of a joint decision that was made.
As for the diet and alcohol overhaul? Us women are in pain too. You think I like eating beetroot everyday for breakfast and enjoy the daily check of my panties for tale-tell signs of ovulation? Oh, and it’s not just the blokes that miss out on their nights propping up the bar in the local, I quite like to do that too, at least three times a week, with a good sing-song on the stagger home. Units a week these days? 5. That’s not even three small glasses of wine a week. I’m parched. It’s summer, work has finished, I should be sat in a beer garden in Clapham with my mates, or on a date in the window of Amuse Bouche in Parson’s Green sipping Prosecco and watching the Sloaney Ponies saunter by. Oh no, thanks to infertility karaoke nights and all you can eat pizza and drink cocktails at Bunga Bunga are long gone.
I don’t know about you lot, but in my relationship, we both wanted to get ourselves in the best shape possible, we both wanted to be well-informed, we both know what day of the cycle it is and we’ve both made sacrifices. That’s because we’re a team, and we’ll be damn good parents if we ever get the chance. We want a family because we feel that life propping up the bar every night without one would be very lonely indeed.
So, to sum up, in the very eloquent words of the brilliant Joe Gatto, Samantha Brick’s headline can “suck it”. Or not. Depending on one’s libido. (And ps – saliva is very, very bad and has a deleterious effect on semen, so leave out the oral sex if you’re trying, just a tip from me to you!)
Until the next blog… Baby dust and a libido boost all round.