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  • We are flying to New York City.
  • I wouldn’t let him drag a snow shovel into the house.
  • We put this pillow behind his head so he didn’t hurt himself on the window frame.
  • I wouldn’t let him drink bath water.
  • His brother’s boots don’t fit.
  • I wouldn’t let him drown in this pond.
  • We helped him put on the boots he loves to wear.
  • The car seat. Always the car seat.
  • I closed the refrigerator door.
  • I asked that he not wipe his muddy shoes off on my car seats.
  • The milk isn’t juice.
  • I wouldn’t let him eat the candy he found on the diner floor.
  • Grandma wouldn’t let him spill his ice water all over her and the table.
  • I told him that forcefully cramming his toys into his brother’s face is not the same as “sharing”.
  • I have no idea why my son is crying.
  • I gave him a cup of water.
  • I turned the volume of The Hokey Pokey down… from “ear-splittingly loud” to only “mind-numbingly loud”.
  • It took me longer than 0 seconds to take his shirt off.
  • The slide is not slippery enough.
  • I didn’t show him pictures on my phone quickly enough – and yes, they were pictures of him crying.
  • His brother pretended to sing for one second.        
  • We asked him to stop hitting his brother with a plastic wand.
  • He threw his dinner plate on the ground. He now wants to eat dinner.
  • We suggested that he play with a train.
  • I wouldn’t let him eat Buzz Lightyear’s head.
  • The milk was in the wrong cup.
  • I broke this cheese in half.
  • He is bad at eating yogurt.
  • He dumped a full cup of water on his own face.
  • He is in a giraffe costume.
  • He asked me to put butter on his rice.  I put butter on his rice.
  • I asked him to thank his brother for sharing Buzz Lightyear.
  • I played the wrong Jungle Book clip on YouTube.
  • Mommy isn’t here when he woke up.  This is the 80th consecutive Tuesday morning she hasn’t been here when he woke up. (Also, the milk is in the wrong cup.)
  • He is out of pretzel sticks