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- We are flying to New York City.
- I wouldn’t let him drag a snow shovel into the house.
- We put this pillow behind his head so he didn’t hurt himself on the window frame.
- I wouldn’t let him drink bath water.
- His brother’s boots don’t fit.
- I wouldn’t let him drown in this pond.
- We helped him put on the boots he loves to wear.
- The car seat. Always the car seat.
- I closed the refrigerator door.
- I asked that he not wipe his muddy shoes off on my car seats.
- The milk isn’t juice.
- I wouldn’t let him eat the candy he found on the diner floor.
- Grandma wouldn’t let him spill his ice water all over her and the table.
- I told him that forcefully cramming his toys into his brother’s face is not the same as “sharing”.
- I have no idea why my son is crying.
- I gave him a cup of water.
- I turned the volume of The Hokey Pokey down… from “ear-splittingly loud” to only “mind-numbingly loud”.
- It took me longer than 0 seconds to take his shirt off.
- The slide is not slippery enough.
- I didn’t show him pictures on my phone quickly enough – and yes, they were pictures of him crying.
- His brother pretended to sing for one second.
- We asked him to stop hitting his brother with a plastic wand.
- He threw his dinner plate on the ground. He now wants to eat dinner.
- We suggested that he play with a train.
- I wouldn’t let him eat Buzz Lightyear’s head.
- The milk was in the wrong cup.
- I broke this cheese in half.
- He is bad at eating yogurt.
- He dumped a full cup of water on his own face.
- He is in a giraffe costume.
- He asked me to put butter on his rice. I put butter on his rice.
- I asked him to thank his brother for sharing Buzz Lightyear.
- I played the wrong Jungle Book clip on YouTube.
- Mommy isn’t here when he woke up. This is the 80th consecutive Tuesday morning she hasn’t been here when he woke up. (Also, the milk is in the wrong cup.)
- He is out of pretzel sticks
