Children's Health / 15 December, 2025 / Ellie Thompson

Body Confidence In Tweens: Boosting Identity Development For Lifelong Benefits

At My Baba, we know that supporting girls through the transitional tween years is both a privilege and a challenge. As our daughters grow up, their sense of self and confidence can be deeply impacted by the world around them. One of the most important areas to nurture during this time is body confidence in tweens — helping girls feel capable, strong, and positive about who they are becoming.

In this guest article, experts Janet Boseovski, PhD, and Ashleigh Gallagher, PhD, share practical, evidence-based strategies for fostering genuine body confidence in girls, setting them up for resilience and lifelong well-being.

Changes in the Tween Years

Many of us who know and love a little girl are surprised when we find that we suddenly have a tween on our hands– it’s as if she is becoming a different person! In some ways, she is. Late childhood is marked by a girl’s growing awareness of how others view her, and as she begins to focus her attention on her friends and social world, it is common to see an uptick in concerns about her body and physical appearance. During this developmental period, girls tend to lose some of their childhood optimism, or “rose-colored glasses” about themselves and the world in general.

What Does It Really Mean to Be Body Confident?

When we spot this change, many parents naturally wonder how we can protect our girls or empower them to be body confident. This question-as well as the broader topic of body positivity- has become a common point of discussion among those who want to ensure that girls feel good about who they are becoming.

To best equip our girls with confidence, though, it is helpful to take a step back and unpack what we mean by “body confident.” So often, body confidence is associated with feeling great about how we look, including our body’s appearance or size.  Many popular press and media outlets promote the idea that body confidence is fundamentally about appearance. Although well-intentioned, thinking of body confidence like this can backfire in two important ways.

Moving Beyond Appearance

First, we are so much more than our bodies, and we want our girls to develop into the people they want to be—not just the bodies they want to be. Focusing on feeling great about how her body looks draws attention away from thinking about who she is and all that she can accomplish. Second, our bodies are in constant change. This is especially true in tweenhood, but bodies continue to change throughout life. Focusing primarily on feeling great about appearance will take up considerable mental space in the coming years of awkward adolescence, and this space could be diverted to figuring out the more central (and interesting!) features of her identity.

The True Meaning of Body Confidence

There is a more successful route to body confidence for girls. The true essence of the word confidence is feeling capable— knowing what our bodies can do and knowing that we can depend on them. And body confidence is only a piece of the overall confidence that we want girls to develop in their thoughts and behaviors as they form their identity. When we use this broader definition, we uncover powerful ways to guide our girls to true confidence. Each of these strategies is based on evidence from body image science, so you can be sure they are valid recommendations. (To learn about these strategies and more, check out our recent book, Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Science-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image (American Psychological Association, 2024)).

Science-Backed Strategies to Foster Body Confidence in Tweens

Focus on Building Your Daughter’s Self-Efficacy

Having a positive evaluation of herself is important for your daughter. But equally important and often overlooked is the need to build her “can do” attitude. Self-efficacy is her belief in her ability to accomplish a goal. Look for ways to highlight her strengths and acknowledge her achievements. For example, celebrate milestones in her piano lessons or her ability to complete her math homework independently.

Develop Your Daughter’s Food and Physical Literacy

We teach our children many things, but we often forget that skills around body care also need to be learned. Body confidence comes from knowing you can depend on your body, so instill in your daughter a sense of stewardship over her body now. To be able to depend on her body, she will need to take an active approach to health behaviors. This can be kept simple: fueling her body appropriately and engaging in regular movement are behaviors that will support not only physical but mental health throughout life. Sports or leisure activity participation for tweens are great ways to emphasize eating to support body functionality and making movement enjoyable in activities?with others.

Redirect Your Daughter if She Talks Excessively About Her Physical Appearance

It’s natural for your daughter to want to look her best, and it is fine to devote some of her energy toward her appearance, but there is a downside to focusing on it.? Teach your daughter to redirect excessive body-related thoughts by using mindfulness techniques (e.g., noticing them in a neutral way and letting them go) and extending self-compassion (e.g., be kind to herself  as she would to a friend who is having negative thoughts, and reminding herself that everyone feels this way sometimes). These are habits worth building and they will have lifelong benefits.

Help Your Daughter Build & Broaden Aspects of Her Self-Concept That Are Not Appearance Related

Traits, characteristics, and skills will provide a strong and lasting foundation for confidence. For example, you can point out that your daughter is a great listener, or that she is creative. Popular media often focuses on what seems immediately relevant for a quick “pick-me-up” hit of body confidence (e.g., memes), but the self-concept is the supportive framework we need to shore up. The ability to withstand negative influences from the media or peer pressure will come from a well-developed self-concept, which will build confidence and provide protection.

Set the Expectation That Bodies Change and Fluctuate

Talk to your daughter about puberty before it happens so she knows what to expect. During puberty, it is especially important to emphasize that big changes in her body are natural and not shameful. Teach your daughter that she is the manager of her body, and an important part of taking care of herself is respecting her body always, despite its changes.

The tween years are an exciting time as girls embark on identity exploration and gain independence. Moms can lay the foundation for life-long body confidence by helping girls focus on the most important features that define them and reminding them that these have little to do with outward appearance.

Epic Family Days Out In London This Easter: Immersive Experiences You Can’t Miss!

From Blocks To Big Screen: Celebrate The Minecraft Movie With These Must-Haves