Mum / 10 March, 2026 / Ellie Thompson

What To Say To Someone Who Is Grieving This Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day can be a joyful celebration for many families, but for others, it can be one of the most difficult days of the year.

New social listening data from greeting card marketplace thortful suggests that one in ten people feel negatively about Mother’s Day, with 7% saying the day makes them feel sad.

For those who have lost their mum, lost a child, experienced infertility, or have a complicated relationship with their parent, the day can bring grief into sharp focus.

To help people navigate these difficult conversations, thortful has partnered with the grief support charity Apart of Me, founded by therapist and grief expert Louis Weinstock, to share guidance on what to say — and what not to say — to someone grieving on Mother’s Day.

Why Mother’s Day can trigger grief

Mother’s Day can hold many different kinds of grief.

For some people, it marks the loss of their mum. For others, it may represent the loss of a child, the pain of infertility, or the complicated emotions that come with difficult family relationships.

What connects these experiences is the gap between what the day promises and what it actually delivers.

Despite how common these feelings are, many people worry about saying the wrong thing — and end up saying nothing at all.

What not to say to someone grieving on Mother’s Day

Some common phrases that are meant to comfort can unintentionally make someone feel worse.

Euphemisms such as saying someone is “in a better place” or “watching over you” can impose beliefs the bereaved person may not share.

Similarly, trying to find a silver lining — for example, saying “at least she’s at peace now” — can minimise the depth of someone’s loss.

Toxic positivity can also feel dismissive. Phrases like “stay strong” or “time heals” may suggest that grief is something that should be overcome quickly.

Comparisons can also be tricky. Saying you know how someone feels may only resonate if you have experienced a very similar loss.

What to say to someone who has lost their mum

The advice shared through the thortful and Apart of Me partnership focuses on something simple but powerful: acknowledging the day and letting someone know they are not alone.

A short message saying you’re thinking of them can mean far more than trying to find the perfect words.

Letting someone know you’re there if they want to talk — or even just acknowledging that the day may be difficult — can provide genuine comfort.

Everyone experiences grief differently. Some people may appreciate company or distraction, while others may prefer space. Offering open-ended support allows them to choose what they need.

What not to say to someone who has lost a child on Mother’s Day

My Baba’s Editor, Ellie Thompson, lost her son Billy nearly two years ago to a DIPG brain tumour.

When a parent has lost a child, Mother’s Day can bring an especially painful reminder of what is missing. Many people worry about saying the wrong thing, but certain phrases can unintentionally deepen that pain.

Trying to offer explanations or meaning can be particularly difficult to hear. Comments that suggest everything happens for a reason or that their child is in a better place can feel dismissive of the enormity of their loss.

Similarly, attempts to soften the grief with phrases such as at least you have other children, or you can always try again, can make parents feel as though their child has been replaced or forgotten.

Encouraging someone to stay strong or suggesting that time will heal the pain can also feel isolating. For grieving parents, their child remains part of their life, and their identity as a parent doesn’t disappear.

Most importantly, avoid avoiding the subject altogether. Silence can sometimes make a parent feel as though their child is no longer acknowledged or remembered.

What to say to someone who has lost a child on Mother’s Day

For many bereaved parents, the most meaningful thing someone can do is simply acknowledge their child and their motherhood.

You don’t need perfect words. A simple message that recognises the day and lets them know you are thinking of them can mean a great deal.

Letting someone know that their child is remembered can also be incredibly powerful. Many grieving parents say that hearing their child’s name or knowing others still think of them brings comfort.

You might send a message to say you are thinking of them and their child today, or that you know Mother’s Day may feel especially hard.

Some people may appreciate company or a gentle check-in, while others may prefer quiet space. Offering support without pressure allows them to respond in the way that feels right for them.

Above all, kindness and acknowledgement matter more than finding the perfect words.

Louis Weinstock on small ways to support someone grieving on Mother’s Day

Support doesn’t always have to come through words.

Sharing a memory of someone’s mum — perhaps through a message, a voice note or an old photograph — can help acknowledge their importance.

Checking in beyond Mother’s Day also matters. Grief doesn’t disappear once the day has passed, and anniversaries and milestones can bring those feelings back again.

Creating small rituals can also help give shape to difficult dates. Lighting a candle, cooking a meal that reminds someone of their mum, looking through photographs or writing down memories can all help people feel connected to the person they miss.

Ultimately, supporting someone through grief is not about fixing their pain. It’s about showing up — even if it feels awkward or imperfect — and reminding them they are not alone.

As part of this initiative, thortful has also partnered with Apart of Me and creative agency Monks to create a collection of Mother’s Day grief cards, designed with gentle and inclusive messages to help people reach out to loved ones who may be missing someone this year.

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