Expert / 4 January, 2026 / Ellie Thompson

How To Feel More Confident In Your Parenting Decisions

When it comes to the emotional rollercoaster of parenthood, Anna Mathur truly gets it. As a psychotherapist, bestselling author, and mum of three, Anna has built a trusted platform helping parents navigate the overwhelm that so often comes with raising little humans. Her relatable advice, grounded in both professional expertise and personal experience, offers a compassionate hand to those of us who sometimes second-guess every parenting decision (so, pretty much all of us!).

In her latest book, The Good Decision Diary, Anna gently guides readers through the process of making everyday choices with more confidence and less guilt. In this blog post, Anna shares her insights on why parenting decisions can feel so heavy and how we can all start building trust in our own instincts.

When you become a parent, something shifts. Suddenly, the simplest choices, such as what to feed them, when to let them nap, and whether to veer from the routine, can feel impossibly loaded. You want to get it right, you want to protect them, you want to do what’s best in each situation. It can feel so overwhelming, especially when all the books and social media posts are constantly telling you exactly what that ‘best’ should be.

As a psychotherapist who supports parents, I see the weight of these decisions every day. And as a mum of three, I’m grappling with decision overwhelm in real time too! What I’ve learned, both professionally and personally, is this: confidence in parenting isn’t about always knowing what to do. Instead, it’s about building enough self-trust to make the next best decision you can with the knowledge you have, even when the path isn’t perfectly clear.

In my new book, The Good Decision Diary, I help people find clarity in the messiness of real life. It’s a five-week, interactive guide to making better decisions, not all of the time, but more of the time, with less guilt and self-sabotage, more insight, and a whole lot more compassion. Here are five ways to feel more confident in your decision-making in parenting today:

1. Pause before reaching for advice

When you’re faced with a decision, it’s so tempting to ask Google, head to the WhatsApp the group chat., scroll through the opinions of strangers on forums. Sometimes, that can be helpful, sure. But if we’re always outsourcing all of our decisions, we start to lose touch with the inner voice that knows our child best, ours.

In The Good Decision Diary, I include my absolute favourite decision prompt: “What would I choose if no one else knew?” It’s a powerful way to turn down the noise of worrying about what others think, and get honest with yourself. What do you really feel is right for your child, not according to the books, the influencers or the in-laws, but according to you?

2. Replace perfection with progress

We’re sold this idea that if we just read enough, plan enough, or try hard enough, we’ll make the perfect choice every time. But parenting doesn’t work like that. It’s unpredictable, emotional, messy.

I often lean on the “70 percent rule.” If a decision feels around 70 percent right, not perfect, but solid, then that’s enough of a cue to move forward. Waiting for total clarity can keep you stuck in cycles of indecision and self-doubt, finding those decisions weighing heavily on your shoulders. Confidence isn’t about being certain. Instead, it’s about trusting yourself to pivot if needed, and giving yourself the grace to learn as you go!

3. Check whose voice is shaping your decision

This one is super subtle but powerful. In my therapy work, I often help parents uncover the hidden influences behind their overwhelm and difficulty in decision-making. Sometimes, we’re not responding to this child in this moment; we’re reacting to pressure from our own childhoods, unresolved fears, or the silent expectations we carry. It might sound like your inner critic saying, ‘you’re going to make a mess of this, like normal. You don’t know what you doing’. Listen for the echoes of the things people have said to you over the years. Sure, it might sound like your own voice, but the tone and wording may sound like that strict teacher from primary school, or the chastising parent.

Ask yourself, “Whose voice am I listening to?” Does it sound like someone in particular? Or maybe it’s the voice of fear, guilt, perfectionism, or people-pleasing? Noticing this can help you come back to what you want to model, how you want to show up, and what your values are as a parent.

4. Treat regret as a teacher, not a punishment

We all make calls we look back on and question. We will do so our entire lives. Everyone has a library of decisions they wish they’d made differently in retrospect. Maybe it was how you dealt with the toddler meltdown in the supermarket or the nursery you didn’t choose. But staying stuck in regret erodes our sense of capability and confidence.

It’s so good to reflect on a choice that didn’t go as planned and ask: “What did I learn about myself? What might I try differently next time?” Regret, when met with curiosity, stops you spiralling into self-criticism and shame and becomes an opportunity for insight. And that’s what growth looks like. Growth is not flawlessness, but learning in motion.

5. Give yourself what you’re trying to give your child

So many parents I work with are pouring kindness, stability, and encouragement into their children, but offering themselves the opposite. You speak gently to your child when they make a mistake. But when you feel like you’ve made one? Well, the inner critic takes over.

The Good Decision Diary includes one question I return to again and again in my own parenting and therapy: “What would I say to a friend in this moment?” That gentle question moves you from self-criticism to self-support, is a quiet but powerful shift. It doesn’t just help you feel more grounded, it also models something powerful for your children: that confidence doesn’t come from never getting it wrong. It comes from knowing you’re allowed to keep going anyway. It’s an acknowledgement that you’re doing the best you can with the resources and knowledge you had in that moment.

Confidence in parenting doesn’t mean you never doubt yourself. It means you learn to pause, reflect, and tune back into your own wisdom, even in the middle of chaos, comparison or uncertainty.

The Good Decision Diary won’t tell you what to do. However, it will help you do something better: understand why you do what you do, and how to make decisions that feel more aligned with who you are, as both a parent and a person. Because you’re not supposed to be perfect! A perfect parent can do nothing to help their child navigate a wildly imperfect world, right?

The Good Decision Diary Your daily guide to making better decisions, more of the time by Anna Mathur publishes 7^th August 2025 (Penguin Life, £16.99).

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